The 1:1 Meetings Dilemma
Stop doubting. Start connecting. Make your 1:1s count.
A common doubt I hear from Tech Leads is: “Am I doing 1:1s right?”
And it makes sense. Unlike plannings or retrospectives, there is no universal template for a good 1:1.
Some companies say: “Every two weeks. 30 minutes. Shared agenda.”
Others suggest: “Keep it open. Let people bring what matters to them.”
And in practice?
1:1s can be everything from a quick project check-in, to career coaching, to a safe space for venting.
That is why so many Tech Leads second-guess themselves:
Am I supposed to drive the conversation?
Should I be focusing on goals?
Is this too random?
Am I wasting their time?
Here are some patterns that make 1:1s useful rather than awkward:
Give your team member space. It is their time to ask questions, raise concerns, or share progress.
Bring what you need to share. Whether it is feedback, context, or technical guidance.
Keep a balance. Sometimes it is about actions and follow-ups. Sometimes it is about development or soft skills. Both matter.
Stay flexible. Every person is different. Some need a common agenda. Some need room to jump from topic to topic.
Do not get lazy. The easiest way is to let the 1:1 slip into project updates. But the real value often lies in the harder conversations: growth, motivation, frustrations.
Honour your word. If you say you will follow up, do it. Integrity builds trust more than any fancy structure.
When done with intention, 1:1s are not a burden.
They are one of the strongest tools you have to build trust, alignment, and development in your team.
And if you are not sure where to start, I have a reflection workbook for you: 1:1 Meeting Reflection Tool.
It will help you spot what is not working, clarify your expectations, and walk into each 1:1 with a sense of purpose.
Because the real question is not “Am I doing it right?”
It is: “Are these conversations helping my team and me grow?”
I believe in you.
Andra